Every match to be contested under Extreme Rules, or so they say.Stretcher Match: Rob Van Dam beat Randy Orton
I loved the way RVD started the match doing his usual “RVD” taunt, but surprised Orton with a quick kick to the face at the end of it! The story of the whole match was both guys hitting each other hard in the head to try and concuss each other, RVD’s kicks to Orton’s head looking more brutal than usual. There was a cool spot where Orton popped up and caught RVD out of a Rolling Thunder with a sweet powerslam, and the spot of the match was probably RVD missing a huge dive out of the ring and crashing flat on the mat! RVD wins the match when he pushed Orton on the stretcher over the marked line, but Orton attacked RVD after the match and again tries to concuss him with a big kick to the head and a hanging DDT off the guardrail to the floor!
So is Orton’s new moniker “Captain Concussion” now?Match Rating: ***
Tag Team Tables Match: The Sandman, Tommy Dreamer & CM Punk beat Elijah Burke, Matt Striker & Marcus Cor Von when Punk superplexed Striker onto Burke through a table.
A SIX MAN tables match and you only have to put ONE man through a table to win? Even worse, why follow regular tag rules and not just be a big garbage match brawl from the beginning?
The match got good when things finally did break down to a six man brawl and everyone got their spots in. It was good to see Dreamer and Sandman give props to Punk after the match as a sign of putting over the future of the business.Match Rating: **1/2
World Tag Team Titles – Ladder Match: The Hardys [C] beat The World’s Greatest Tag Team to retain.
I don’t know why, but I just couldn’t get into this match despite all the high spots they did. Maybe it’s because we knew that Haas & Benjamin didn’t stand a chance? The only thing that really got a pop out of me was the non-ladder spot where Haas gave Jeff a wicked release German suplex off the top rope.Match Rating: ***
Lumberjack Match: Mark Henry beat Kane with a bear-hug.
Geez. A BEAR HUG? They couldn’t think of anything better than that to end the match? I can already hear all the internet critics crapping all over this match, but as usual, I dig the super heavyweights and thought the match was ok, the highlight being that big chokeslam Kane gave Henry before Chavo and Kenny ran in, giving Henry the opportunity to clamp on the bear hug to put out Kane.Match Rating: **
ECW World Championship – Street Fight: Bobby Lashley beat Vince McMahon [C] with a spear to win the title.
Off the bat Lashley flubs a big dive out of the ring on Umaga. Note to Lashley: Next time LET GO OF THE ROPES if you don’t want to crash like you did. Umaga? Yeah, you’d know he and Shane would be involved here. You just have to wonder what exactly they are planning to do with Umaga when all this is over? Lashley once again overcomes the odds to beat THREE MEN to win back his title. Bring on Snitzsky next?Match Rating: **
Pudding Match: Candice Michelle beat Melina
Nothing screams “Extreme” like “Pudding Match”, eh? You know the only reason you want to watch this is that you hope to see one of the girls pop out. Both girls actually got winded from just having to move through the tub of pudding, and of course you can’t expect to see a lot of wrestling in a match like this, but Candice did manage a decent Pudding DDT! Candice made Melina tap out by drowning her face first in the pudding. Yup, tap out via pudding.Match Rating: *
World Heavyweight Championship – Steel Cage Match: Edge [C] beat Batista to retain when he escaped the cage.
I just couldn’t get into this match either, though both men worked hard in there. The best spot of the match was when Edge’s spear collided with Batista’s shoulder block and both men went down. I was afraid they were going to do the Batista escapes first but the referee didn’t see it cause he was watching Edge escape, but luckily, Edge did drop out first before Batista’s feet touched the floor.Match Rating: **
WWE Championship - Falls Count Anywhere: John Cena beat the Great Khali with an FU off a crane.
Much like their previous match, Khali dominated with Cena making small bursts of offense. It was obvious Khali landed on a padded floor, but the FU off the crane spot was a great visual and you gotta give Khali some credit for taking the spot as he could have bumped his head on the crane if Cena didn’t do the move right.Match Rating: ***
Having every match as a gimmick match isn’t a bad idea, but I just got bored with most of the matches.