WWE No Way Out results

WWE Tag Team Titles
Rey Mysterio & Eddie Guerrero VS The Secretaries of Defense (Doug & Danny Basham)
Wow, Rey Mysterio looks like a member of the Italian Collection.
Wow, Michael Cole & Tazz get into a serious argument about the Bashams’ cheating tactics.
Wow again, the crowd were DEAD for this one.
Hardly even a pop for Mysterio’s highflying offense. You’d think this was Japan or something. Eddie extends the tag rope so he can get further out to get the tag. Cute. Fans finally come alive for Rey as he does some amazing escapes to avoid both Bashams and makes the hot tag to Eddie who starts cleaning house before getting double teamed. Eddie grabs one of the tag belts, but Rey talks him out of using them. Eddie goes up top for the Frog Splash, and Doug Basham rolls out of the way as Eddie comes down, but does a forward roll instead, before faking taking a bump! Doug goes for the cover and Eddie quickly rolls him up for a near fall! Danny tosses a tag title belt to Eddie, who tosses it to Doug, who then gets it snatched away by the referee, which leads to Rey tossing Eddie the second belt as the Bashams argue with the ref. Eddie clocks Doug with the belt and feints taking a bump himself before rolling onto Doug as the referee turns around and makes the three count! New champions!
This match started off really slow, and the lack of crowd heat didn’t help much either. But the ending was fun as they teased the possible heel turn of Eddie. Good match, but nothing really outstanding.
Match Rating: **

Carlito Caribbean Cool introduces GM Teddy Long to the wife of one of WWE’s board of directors, again with the threat of trying to get Long fired.

Torrie Wilson & Dawn Marie come out to join MC & Tazz on commentary for round 1 (sigh) of the WWE Smackdown Diva Rookie Of The Year Contest. The four ladies come out in evening gowns. Meh, you know it’s gonna be a long night when the Diva’s can’t get much reaction out of the crowd.

Heidenreich VS Booker T
I get a Hogan flashback when Heidenreich in the middle of the match says, “Your gonna pay now, bruddah!”
This match was really SLOW and didn’t really amount to anything since Heidenreich got himself DQ’d for jabbing Book with a steel chair. Get this, the Spinaroonie didn’t even get much response from the crowd!
This was something they easily could have just done on Smackdown TV, and not this PPV.
Match Rating: *

Rey & Eddie are celebrating in the back when John Cena comes in and Eddie asks for a minute alone with him. Eddie gives Cena a really good pep-talk to prep him for his match with Cena.

Cruiserweight Title Elimination Gauntlet
Paul London VS Chavo Guerrero VS Shannon Moore VS Spike Dudley VS Akio VS Funaki
London comes out dressed as mini-Ultimate Warrior, minus the face paint.
When the HELL did Shannon Moore get a cool a punker gimmick???
The rules are the same as the last WrestleMania’s battle royal. London & Funaki start off. Chavo distracts the referee and Spike drives a knee to Funaki’s back and London rolls him up to eliminate him! Spike is next in and Funaki gives Spike a KILLER super kick, and London pins him for the elimination! Shannon Moore in next and does some OK offense to London before missing a corkscrew splash! London goes up top and hits the London Calling (450’ Splash) for the next elimination! Akio in next and attacks London with submissions. Looks like he learned a few things from Kendo KaShin in AJPW. They fight up the top rope and London gives Akio a big neckbreaker off the top! The referee starts the count and reaches ten as London gets to his feet, but Akio is still down, so the referee rules Akio is eliminated (WTF?!?). Chavo arrogantly comes in and goes to work on London. London comes back countering a neckbreaker and hitting a BEAUTIFUL Dragon Suplex-hold for a two count! London gets fired up and really does resemble a mini-Ultimate Warrior! Chavo rallies back and tries for a brainbuster, but London flips over and tries a roll-up, but Chavo rolls through and uses the ropes for leverage to steal the win! NEW CHAMPION!
OK, I’ll admit I had higher expectations for this match, but what they did here was good enough for me. My major gripe of the match being that it was just too short and the guys didn’t really let loose like they should have.
Match Rating: ***

Round 2 of the Diva contest is to see who’s the best dressed ho. OK, it was the talent part of the contest. Joy gives Torrie a massage. Rochelle does a horrible stand up comedy act, Lauren does a dance and Michelle BODYSLAMS Dawn Marie to shut her up since she was verbally bashing (and rightfully so) the other contestants. Looks like we know who WWE is fixing to win this.

Luther Reigns VS The Undertaker
It’s about 10:15 as this match starts up, so looks like it’s gonna go unnecessarily long. As expected, this was a brawl between two big men and was had some good back and forth work which was marred by the lack of crowd heat. Taker took a sick looking bump as Reigns rammed the back of his head right into the exposed turnbuckle iron. End sees Taker hit a chokeslam, but Reigns counters the Tombstone into his neckbreaker finisher! Reigns covers but only gets two. Reigns tries for the neckbreaker again, but Taker counters into a DDT and puts him away with the Tombstone.
This match suffered cause it moved too slow and went too long for my taste. And again, the lack of crowd heat didn’t help.
Match Rating: **
Taker takes his time leaving and stops for awhile before doing his old “back aimed to the audience and lifts one arm in salute” thing. Guess someone told him to stall for time since it’s just past 10.30 and there’s still over a full hour left in the PPV.

ROUND 3 of the Diva contest is next, hosted by Torrie alone as Dawn refuses to continue after getting slammed in the previous round. Obviously, words can’t describe what I’m seeing here, but Michelle did do a backflip to impress the crowd which was mostly dead. Fans are asked to decide, and Joy & Michelle get the biggest pops. Unfortunately it’s the on-line votes that count, and Joy won with a landslide 65% of the votes! She’s the winner and that’s it. That’s right. Just like that. No extra-curricular activity of any kind. Meh.

A VERY good recap video of the WrestleMania No.1 Contender’s Tournament is shown highlighting all the tournament matches up to tonight’s matches.

WrestleManiaXXI No.1 Contender’s Tournament Finals:
John Cena VS Kurt AngleAngle’s new logo looks like an oversized Starfleet emblem
No cutesy rap from Cena this time either.
They start off with some good mat-wrestling, right as Tazz says Cena should avoid doing that! Angle does a Tamon Honda Rolling Olympic Hell! No where near as good as Honda though. Cena quickens the pace and takes Angle to the outside where they brawl onto the announce table! Cena hits a fisherman’s buster back in the ring, but Angle manages to come back with a VICIOUS release German suplex INTO the turnbuckle! Noticeably this the crowd is pro-Angle since this show is taking place in his home town of Pitsburgh PA. Angle locks down Cena with several modified submissions. Cena fights back but gets tossed around with a triple-German by Angle for a 2 count. Angle continues the submission offense till Cena again rallies back and hits a big spinebuster. Angle hits a German suplex, but Cena comes back with a spin-out powerbomb! Cena tries the FU, but Angle rolls through and hits a belly to belly suplex! Angle tries the Olympic Slam, but Cena counters into a DDT! Cena tries the FU again, but Angle counters into the Ankle Lock! Cena manages to escape and eject Angle from the ring. Cena goes up top as Angle gets back into the ring, and Cena delivers a wicked diving legdrop to the back of his head! Cena reverses an Irish whip into the corner, but runs right into a boot, and Angle runs right into the FU! Cena covers but only gets a 2 count! Cena thinks he won the match, but when he realizes his mistake, Angle immediately begins his attack on Cena’s leg! Angle continues the assault on the leg and hits the Olympic Slam followed by the Ankle Lock! Angle drops down into the grape-vine, but Cena manages to drag himself to the ropes. Angle locks on the Ankle Lock again and shoves off the referee as Cena was still on the ropes. Angle eyes Cena’s chain and goes for it as the referee is down. Angle wraps the chain around his hand and turns around to get speared into the corner by Cena, and carried out of the corner and dropped in the FU! Cena covers and the referee counts THREE! JOHN CENA IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!!!
Now THIS is how you work a twenty minute match! Obviously hands-down the best match of the night thus-far!
Match Rating: ****

Batista still hasn’t showed up as they lower the cage. Get this, other than winning by pinfall or submission, the door on the cage will be locked, but you can still win the match by climbing out of the ring and if your willing to go through the razor-wire! Jeez. So much for keeping people from getting in or out of the cage.

WWE Title Barb-Wire Steel Cage Match
The Big Show VS John “Bradshaw” Leyfield
JBL goes right after Show, but gets overpowered easily. JBL comes back with a huge front chop-block followed by a neckbreaker. JBL tries to climb the cage, but can’t get past the wire, even cutting his hand on it. JBL tries a cross-body off the top, but Show catches him and gives him a big fallaway slam! For some reason, everytime JBL manages to take down Show, he makes a break to climb the cage. Show gets busted open when JBL rams his head into the cage and JBL follows up with a big diving shoulder off the top. More brawling before Show manages a big powerbomb on JBL, but ramming JBL’s face into the cage as he jacked him up. JBL gets rammed into the cage again, and I catch Nick Patrick picking up JBL’s blade-job razor
Suddenly, Orlando Jordan and The Bashams runs down with a pair of bolt cutters, but before they could do anything, GM Long comes out and ejects them from ringside! They leave the ring area, but JBL picked up the bolt-cutters and smacks Show with it before delivering the Clothesline From Hell, but it only gives him a 2 count! JBL tries another lariat, but Show catches him with a chokeslam! Show covers but only gets 2! Show tries another chokeslam, but JBL kicks him low and delivers a big boot to the face. JBL goes up top with the bolt cutters to try and cut an opening to escape, but Show catches up with him and they both duke it out on the top rope! Big Show then chokeslams JBL off the top, and the champ GOES THROUGH THE RING!!!
Big Show takes his time getting down and makes his way to the door, where he rips the chain off with his bare hands! Show steps through the door, and the bell rings as he’s making his way down the steps, and it’s suddenly announced that JBL has retained the title as he managed to crawl out from under the ring!
Match Rating: ***1/2

Show is obviously pissed, and looks to do a number on JBL, but the Cabinet run in for the save, leading to Batista finally making his appearance to make the save (in full ring gear I might add) to totally descimate the Cabinet with spinebusters and a monster powerbomb! JBL crawls away, but is met by John Cena who attacks JBL and spinebusters him through a table!
The PPV ends with both Batista & Cena calling each other out at who gets JBL at WrestleMania, and Michael Cole even saying it could be a Triple Threat Match at Mania between the three of them!

Overall this was an OK PPV, but seriously lacked any crowd heat save for the two main events. I dread they are going the route of the triple threat match, and hopefully on RAW tomorrow they start the serious Batista-HHH