My views on Pro Wrestling from the East and West

Monday, January 31, 2005

WWE Royal Rumble 2005 results

Show opens with a great recap vid of previous Rumbles

Edge VS Shawn Michaels
This was a great match! It’s probably safe to say that all expectations going in to it were met. Edge is just so awesome as the psycho heel here. The match itself had a good story going for it, with both men almost even matched. Edge would mock HBK’s tuning up the band before hitting the spear, but HBK would kick out. HBK would rebound and try for Sweet Chin Music, but Edge would duck it and drop HBK with an electric chair drop! Edge would get a near submission with the Edge-ucator, but eventually cheat to win rolling up HBK and holding the ropes for the win. The ending of course being the only blemish on an otherwise awesome opener for the PPV.
Match Rating: ***3/4

In the GM’s office, Ric Flair & Eddie Guerrero are first to draw their numbers for the Rumble match. Flair goes first and seems to get a good number, while Guerrero seemed not to like his number. Eddie congratulates Flair and gives him a hug before walking off. Flair shows off his number to Christy, Torrie, Bisch & Teddy Long, who mention his number isn’t that impressive. Flair looks at his number slip and realizes Eddie snatched his number! He rushes out to look for Eddie!
John Heidenreich (who looks strikingly similar to Tom Howard) is shown in the back exclaiming his hatred for caskets. Fellow wacko Gene Snitzsky shows up and in a very homophobic moment, but men exclaim their hatred for caskets, but their like of each other! Snitzsky says he has a plan, and Heidenreich is all ears as we head to a recap building up the Casket Match which is next.

Casket Match
Heidenreich VS The Undertaker

They did a lot of mock MMA moves in this one, including the WORSE looking triangle choke I’ve ever seen! It wasn’t even locked in properly, and Heidenreich sold it like hell! Gene Snitzsky suddenly shows up and helps Heidenreich beat down Taker. They double-suplex him and try to put him in the casket, but Kane is in the casket! Kane saves his brother and beats Snitzsky out through the crowd. Heidenreich battles back and rams the casket into Taker before locking on (rather badly) a Cobra Clutch. Taker escapes getting locked in the casket and guillotines Heidenreich who’s upper body is in the casket to get a “holy shit!” chant. Heidenreich comes back with a big sidewalk slam, but Taker comes back with a running DDT. Taker goes for the chokeslam, but loses Heidenreich on the way up! Damn is Heidenreich green! Anyways, one Tombstone Piledriver later, and Taker boxes the big man in the casket to win the match.
The only high point of the match was when Snitzsky and Kane got involved, and the big casket guillotine leg drop Taker geve Heidenreich.
Match Rating: **

Backstage and Teddy Long is talking to Eddie Guerrero asking him to give Flair back his number when Evolution come in and demand the number back. Long convinces Eddie, and after getting Flair’s number back, asks Eddie to give back his ‘other’ item, which turned out to be Flair’s wallet! Flair is irate again! Long & Eddie leave, and tensions rise between Batista & HHH again as Batista wants to go draw his number, but HHH wants to discuss their plans for his match with Orton instead.
Back at the GM’s office and Christian with Tyson Tomko draws his number and is satisfied with the his number. John Cena comes in to get his number and Captain Charisma takes offense to Cena and challenges him to a rap-off. Cena accepts, and Christian asks Tomko to give him a beat, who casually replies “No”. Hehe. Christian does a pretty good rap, and gets a pop for mentioning the peeps. Cena counters back saying the Chain Gang run the show. And ASTRO silenced out the rest of it. But this was really fun!

WWE Championship – No DQ, Triple-Threat
Kurt Angle VS The Big Show VS John “Bradshaw” Leyfield

Big Show dominated this match for the most part, till he was put through the announce table by Angle. Angle & JBL did some surprisingly good counter wrestling till Big Show came back. Really cool double team saw Angle hit show with a chopblock as JBL hit the Clothesline From Hell on Big Show. Show would rally back and score a near fall on JBL with a chokeslam. Show then tackles JBL right through the ringside barricade! Show almost gets the victory on Angle, if not for the interference of Jindrak and Reigns. The Bashams also show up to help keep Show occupied as Jordon helps JBL back into the ring, where he scores the Clothesline From Hell on Angle to win and retain the title.
Probably cause of the 3-way format, but this was really good!
Match Rating: ***1/4

On his way to draw his number, Batista runs into Carlito Carribean Cool, who asks him to sign his petition to get rid of GM Teddy Long. Batista declines, and CCC acts like he’s about to spit apple in Batista’s face, till the big man reminds him of what he did to La Resistance and the French Flag on Monday. CCC nervously swallows down his apple and Batista goes to draw his number. The two GMs are bickering over the Smackdown title match, and Bisch tells Batista to inform Evolution that everyone is banned from ringside to avoid an ending similar to the Smackdown match.

World Heavyweight Championship
Randy Orton VS Triple H

It was either legit, or Orton pulled off one of the best sell jobs in history when he smacked his head and was dazed throughout the rest of the match! The match was OK, but I really wonder about the Orton oversell part near the end. HHH more or less wins the match clean as Orton had trouble even standing and the Pedigree at the end was very sluggish due to it.
Match Rating: ***

Backstage and Angle intimidates Nunzio into giving him his number. Poor guy probably wishes he still had the FBI to back him up.
JBL and company bust into the GM’s office still celebrating his title defense as Teddy Long breaks the news that for the first time ever, JBL will defend the title against Big Show in the first ever BARB-WIRE STEEL CAGE MATCH at No Way Out!

Royal Rumble time, and JR & Tazz are co-announcing!

30-Man Royal Rumble Match
- Daniel Puder comes out and I almost thought it was Tito Ortiz! Instead of getting into the match, Puder grabs the mic and proclaims he’s gonna win the Rumble and be the first Tough Enough winner to do so. What follows is Puder getting the snot slapped out of him by Guerrero & Benoit as well as suplexing him to Hell, untill Holly enters and they all take turns to chop away at young Puder before eliminating him. Somehow, I don’t think it’s a good idea when the crowd encourages Hardcore of all people to beatdown a rookie…
- Benoit & Guerrero continue to double team and dominate for a while, and at the same time take pot shots at each other when the opening arises.
- Edge showed a lot of aggression when he entered and almost threw out Eddie, who clung to the bottom rope for dear life and did a commando rope crawl to get away from Edge!
- Is it just me, or has Rey Mysterio gotten smaller since the last time I saw him?
- For some reason, GM Bisch comes out at the no.10 mark.
- Y2J enters, and I noticed everyone in the ring has had a feud with him at one time or another.
- GM Teddy Long also comes out at this point.
- Eight men in the ring, four RAW and Four Smackdown = GANG WARFARE!
- Hassan enters, and all eyes turn on him! ALL EIGHT MEN gang up and beat the crap out of him before tossing him out! Call it racism or whatever Hassan, but your ass just got OWNED!
- Hassan attacks Scotty as he made his way to the ring. For some reason, ASTRO are slo-mo-ing Hassan’s intro and now this. Scotty can’t continue. That was a waste of a number.
- Booker T puts out Luther and Orlando, but gets put out by Eddie & Rey Jr after doing a Spinaroonie.
- Benjamin & Haas renew their World’s Greatest Tag Team days as they give Dupree the old tandem guillotine alley-oop.
- Angle came in like a house on fire and suplexed and Angle-Slammed everyone! HBK escapes an Angle Slam and tries Sweet Chin Music, but Angle catches it into an Ankle-Lock! HBK rolls out and gives Angle Sweet Chin Music to eliminate him!
- Angle would return moments later to eliminate HBK and bust him open with the steel steps followed by an ankle lock.
- Cena single handedly eliminated Viscera by flipping him over the top rope.
- London took a painful looking fall out to the floor when a Snitzsky Lariat flipped him hard face first on the floor. Think shooting star press!
- Kane comes in and unleashes hell with chokeslams to everyone! Snitzsky stops his rampage with a pumphandle slam.
- Batista comes in and quickly takes out Snitzsky before facing off with Kane and giving him a Batista-Bomb!
- Cena FUs Kane over the top rope!
- Flair & Batista work together to eliminate a whole lot of people.
- The Final Four are Edge, Cena, Mysterio & Batista
- Edge eliminates Mysterio by spearing him off the apron. He tries to double spear Cena and Batista, but they hoist him over the top to eliminate him!
- Cena tries to FU Batista out of the ring, but the big man escapes and tries for the Batista-Bomb, but both men fall over the top and hit the floor at the same time!
- Controversy as the RAW referees declare Batista the winner, and the Smackdown referees declare Cena the winner!
- Vince McMahon power walks to the ring…..and twists his ankle just getting in the ring???
- Batista and Cena take cheap shots tossing each other out till Vince declares the match be restart!
- They quickly go at it, and Batista hits a big spinebuster and tosses out Cena to decisively win the Rumble and go on to WrestleMania!

Rumble Entries:
1. Eddie Guerrero
2. Chris Benoit
3. Daniel Puder
4. Hardcore Holly
5. The Hurricane
6. Kenzo Suzuki
7. Edge
8. Rey Mysterio
9. Shelton Benjamin
10. Booker T
11. Chris Jericho
12. Luther Reigns
13. Muhammad Hassan
14. Orlando Jordon
15. Scotty 2 Hotty
16. Charlie Haas
17. Rene Dupree
18. Simon Dean
19. Shawn Michaels
20. Kurt Angle
21. Jonathan Coachman
22. Mark Jindrak
23. Viscera
24. Paul London
25. John Cena
26. Gene Snitzsky
27. Kane
28. Batista
29. Christian
30. Ric Flair

OVERALL: This is the first time in several months that I've seen a full WWE PPV, and I give this event a thumbs up!


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