WWE Backlash 2006 results

No Joey Styles? WTF? On Heat he said he’d be doing the play-by-play of the PPV. Guess I’ll just have to bare with good ol’ stutterin’ JR & King.

“The Masterpiece” Chris Masters VS Carlito
They start off arguing and Carlito slaps Masters. Masters pounds Carlito and chokes him with his shirt. Masters misses a clothesline and Carlito hits a low dropkick followed by a bulldog. Masters reverses an Irish whip and hit a big back body drop for a near fall. Masters with another Irish whip and Carlito hits a kick but runs right into a gorilla press. Carlito slips out and clamps on a full nelson! Masters easily breaks it, so Carlito sends him to the outside and hits a big plancha.
Back in the ring and more punches by Carlito. Masters takes control by dropping the back of Carlito’s head on the turnbuckle. Masters now in control pounding Carlito and hits a legdrop for a near fall. Carlito escapes a neck-wrench but runs into a back elbow before Masters again clamps on the neck wrench and hits a neckbreaker for another near fall. Carlito with a thumb to the eye, but eats a big clothesline.
Masters picks up Carlito and hits a Snake Eyes! Masters tries for the Masterlock, but Carlito counters into a rollup for a near fall. Carlito off the ropes ducks a clothesline and hits a springboard back elbow! Carlito distracts Masters by throwing his apple out of the corner than hits a low dropkick off the second rope! Carlito hits another dropkick for a near fall.
Masters rams Carlito sternum first into the corner and sets him up on the top rope. Carlito knocks Masters off the top and hits a moonsault for a near fall! Masters tries for the Masterlock and Carlito tries to reverse into a roll up again, but Masters counters that into another Masterlock attempt! Carlito rams Masters face first into the corner and hits the back cracker followed by a pin with his feet on the ropes to steal the win!
I like to see that Carlito is expanding his move set and they pull off a good match here.
Match Rating: **1/2

Backstage with Maria, and I’m not sure if it was intentional to play up her dumb blonde bit, but she says Masters just beat Carlito! We than see a video of fans being asked who will win the main event tonight, with mixed reactions. Back to Maria and Lita steps in, promising Edge will get the win, and after that they will have a private sex celebration.

Back to ringside and Alejandro introduces Umaga.

Umaga VS “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair
Umaga attacks Flair as he makes his entrance. Umaga pounds Flair in the ring, but Flair thumbs the eye and hits a low blow when Alejandro accidentally distracted the refree! Flair with punches and chops, but Umaga hits one to drop Flair. Flair avoids a corner charge and exits the ring. Umaga goes out after Flair and tries to charge Flair, but the veteran dodges and Umaga hits the corner post!
Back in the ring and Flair works on Umaga’s leg. He tries for the Figure Four, but Umaga kicks out sending Flair into the corner. Umaga sets him up in the Tree of Woe and hits a head butt. Umaga than hits a big corner splash, followed by a diving headbutt off the second rope, and hits a big strike with that heavily taped thumb to pin Flair for the win!
Flair said before he feels he has one more world title run in him. This squash is probably WWE’s way of telling him he doesn’t. Alejandro has a HUGE victory cigar in his mouth after the match.
Match Rating: DUD

A promo for the new WWE Reckless Intent CD is shown.

We than go backstage to Vince & Shane where Vince tells Shane to leave God to him tonight. Vince demonstrates his Godliness by spilling water on the floor than walking on it. He then tosses fish and bread and suddenly a lot of it gets tossed back at them! Vince walks out as Shane is all confused. Shane takes a sip from his water bottle and notices the water has turned to wine!

A look back at the long feud between Trish Stratus and Mickie James for the Women’s Title.

WWE Women’s Championship: Mickie James (C) VS Trish Stratus
Mickie comes out dressed as her old self, and Trish does the same. Not thong from Trish tonight.
They lock up and Mickie with an arm-wringer, but Trish trips her and gets a near fall. Mickie charges but Trish ducks it with the Ma-Trish, and flips into a headscissors takedown. Mickie ducks the Chick Kick, but eats a straight boot to the face sending her outside. Trish follows and hits a Thez Press off the apron to the floor. Back in the ring, Trish hits a corner splash and mounts Mickie and lands punches until Mickie flips her over the top and she takes a bad spill to the outside, clutching her right arm.
Trish manages to get back and Mickie pins her for a near fall.
Mickie slams and stomps Trish’s head into the mat and picks up one of her bangles that fell off and chokes Trish till the referee makes the five count and disqualifies her?!? Everyone is confused, and the announce team plays it off as Mickie did it intentionally to hold on to the belt.
Match Rating: DUD

Backstage to Maria and she corrects herself for her earlier slip up of the Carlito/Masters match. She then interviews HBK, who says he knows it’s just a handicap match tonight, but promises victory.

Winner Takes All Match for the IC Title and Money in the Bank: Shelton Benjamin (IC Champion) VS Rob Van Dam (Mr. Money in the Bank)
I thought this was going to be a ladder match. Guess I was wrong but whatever.
Benjamin quickly takes down RVD and slaps him. Lock up again and an arm-wringer by Benjamin. RVD reverses it and Benjamin flips off the ropes to take down RVD! Benjamin takes down RVD again with a shoulder block. RVD hits a body-scissors pin out of nowhere for a near fall, followed by a pair of armdrags to take Benjamin out of his game. RVD plays to the crowd. Lock up again and RVD hits a big spin kick sending Benjamin to the outside, frustrated.
Back in the ring again, and RVD flips over a back drop attempt and hits a spin kick and a clothesline. RVD sets up Benjamin for Rolling Thunder, but Benjamin exits the ring so RVD hits a big plancha instead. Benjamin back in the ring first, and as RVD is on the apron, Benjamin does a big sunset flip out of the ring and powerbombs RVD on the floor!
Benjamin now back in control locks on a chinlock. Benjamin mostly pounding and choking now. Benjamin hits a big running knee to the face of RVD for a near fall. Backbraker by Benjamin followed by another chinlock and a camel clutch. Benjamin hits a series of hardslams, continuing to punish the back of RVD. He clamps on another hinlock and RVD breaks out of it. Benjamin tries for the T-bone but RVD escapes and takes down Benjamin. RVD tries for Rolling Thunder, but Benjamin catches him out of it into a Samoan drop!
Benjamin sets up RVD on the top rope and RVD knocks him off, but quick as a cat Benjamin is up and leaps up the top rope to bring RVD down with a superplex! Benjamin locks on a sleeper with a body scissors now. RVD manages to avoid a dropkick and hits a big kick to the Benjamin’s face. RVD dodges the corner splash and hits a series of kicks. Benjamin reverses an Irish whip in the corner but eats an elbow and a jumping kick. RVD finally hits Rolling Thunder for a near fall.
RVD with a big slam and a split-legged moonsault for a near fall! RVD with a monkeyflip out of the corner, but Benjamin lands on his feet. RVD hits another big spin kick and goes up top, but misses the Five-Star Frog Splash! Benjamin spikes him with a DDT for a near fall as RVD barely gets a leg on the ropes. They exit the ring and RVD drops Benjamin face first on the barricade.
Bejnamin distracts RVD by grabbing the MITB briefcase, and hits RVD with a big kick. Back in the ring, Benjamin hits a big crossbody off the top, but RVD rolls through for a near fall. RVD ducks Benjamin’s spin kick and hits a big hurricanrana! Frustrated, Benjamin tries to hit RVD with the MITB briefcase, but RVD ducks and hits the VanDaminator! RVD goes up and hits the best Five Star Frog Splash since his return to win the IC Title!
Great match as expected with great pacing, big spots and a good finish.
Match Rating: ****

Recap of the Kane/Big Show feud and how Kane snapped when he realized his movie is being released soon. It can’t be that bad a movie can it?

Todd Grisham interviews Big Show, who vows revenge on Kane for what he did to him on RAW.

Kane VS Big Show
Kane tries for a cheapshot, but runs right into a big gorilla press slam by Show! Show with a headbutt and some big chops. Show charges into a boot, and Kane goes after Show’s eyes, ripping off the bandage. Show takes down Kane who goes to the outside. Show goes after him and tosses him into the ring. Kane attacks show as he gets on the apron and rams his head into the corner post.
Kane batters Show and tries to attack his arm. Kane hits a big clothesline in the corner, followed by another big clothesline to take down Show. Kane tries for an arm-wringer, but Show bodyslams him. Show misses an elbow drop and Kane stomps his arm, continuing to work it over.
Show hits a headbutt and tries for a chokeslam, but Kane breaks it and clamps on a wrist-lock. Show powers Kane over but runs into a boot. Kane goes up for the big clothesline, but Show catches him, picks him up, and hits a big fall away slam! Show rams Kane hard into the corner and takes him down with a big shoulder block. Show tries for the chokeslam, but Kane counters it into a sloppy DDT for a near fall.
Show hits a big boot and a leg drop for a near fall. Kane flips out of a bodyslam and hits a throat jab. Kane off the ropes but runs right into a bodyslam for a near fall. Show tries to dig at Kane’s eye, but Kane avoids it and knocks Show out of the ring. Suddenly the arena is lit in red light and we hear Kane’s thoughts a the date of his movie release is whispered loudly. Kane hits himself in the head to try and make the voices stop.
Show feels sorry for seeing Kane like that, so he grabs a chair and whacks him over the head with it, and that stops it alright. Big Show leaves the ring and crowd boos till Kane sits up. But the match is over?!? WTF?!?
Match Rating: *

Candice Michelle meets Vinnie Mac in his dressing room and asks to be healed of her chest cold. What follows is the stuff that makes me embarrassed to watch wrestling as Vince “heals” Candice who acts like she’s getting knocked up. Thankfully, Shane interrupts and we get set for the big tag match.

A video recap of the entire McMahonism angle.

Vince McMahon and his son Shane McMahon VS HBK Shawn Michaels & God
Vince gets on the mic and introduces HBK’s tag partner, God! What we get is a beam of light coming down the isle to holy music. Vince orders God to play by his rules since it’s in his house, he tells him to get jiggy with it and some hip hop music plays as the light goes around and enters the ring. Vince than declares the match No-DQ and No Holds Barred! HBK than makes his way to the ring. Vince tells HBK he’s gonna send him and God to Hell, and HBK explodes on Vince to kick off the match.
Shane tries to jump HBK from behind, but HBK takes him down and sends him out of the ring. HBK chops Shane up the isleway, and Shane manages a comeback and tries to piledrive HBK off the stage, but HBK escapes. Vince tries to attack HBK, but Shawn catches him and takes him down. HBK slams Shane’s face into the Backlash set, than gives Vince a big crossbody and both men go off the stage through a wooden stage below!
HBK manages to crawl back up to the stage but eats a big chair shot from Shane. Shane checks on Vince before going back to work on a now bloodied HBK. They slowly work their way back to the ring and Shane stomps and punches the bloody HBK. Shane hits a big back suplex and goes up top, but misses an elbow drop. HBK mounts a comeback, but Shane hits a floatover DDT and tags in Vince.
Vince takes his belt and we get the old government mule beating. Shane tosses in a garbage can and Vince clobbers HBK with it. Vince gets on the mic and calls out God in HBK’s corner, and then plays up that God is walking out on HBK! He then tells HBK he’s gonna kick his teeth down his throat like what HBK did to him at WM22. Vince goes for the superkick, but HBK catches his foot and takes him down. He takes down Shane and hits Vince with a flying forearm.
Shane comes in with a steele chair, but accidentally hits Vince! HBK unloads on Shane with a flying forearm, a bodyslam, and a big elbow drop off the top! HBK tunes up the band and hits Sweet Chin Music on each McMahon! He doesn’t pin them but instead goes outside and slides 2 tables in the ring! HBK sets up the tables side by side in the ring and sets each McMahon on them. He then grabs a ladder from under the ring and sets it up!
HBK goes up the ladder, but jumps off at the Spirit Squad who appear out of nowhere! The Squad eventually get the advantage on HBK thanks to the number of them and they beat down HBK before going to help up Vince & Shane. The Squad than do that five-person slam on HBK, putting him through the table! Vince than covers him for the win, and JR calls it BULLSHIT!
Match Rating: Like what JR said, overbooked BS.

By my count, we have about one hour of PPV left, and only 1 match left.

Interview with WWE champion John Cena who guarantees victory tonight.

We get an update on Trish Stratus who apparently dislocated her shoulder in her match earlier.

Matt Striker comes out for the obligatory time waster since the matches so far have mostly been short and they have too much PPV time remaining. He than brings out the smartest man in Kentucky, Eugene Bischoff-Dinsmore! He challenges Eugene’s intelligence and tells him to write his name on the blackboard. Eugene writes Matt Striker Loves Poop and picks a big booger out of his nose and sticks it in Striker’s mouth! Striker charges at Eugene but gets Stunnered!
I can’t believe I actually paid money for this show.

Time for our Main Event!

WWE Championship: Edge with Lita VS Triple H VS John Cena (C)
Edge exits the ring leaving H & Cena to duke it out. Cena takes ddown H with a shoulderblock and hits a fisherman’s suplex for a near fall. H picks Cena out of the corner with an inverted atomic drop. They trade punches again and H hits the running knee. Cena & H finally realize Edge is letting them go at it, so they bring him into the match and start pounding him.
H & Cena play a game of one upsmanship seeing who can slam Edge’s head onto the announce table harder! They bring Edge back in and H goes after Cena again, ejecting him from the ring. Edge takes advantage and rams H’s head into the corner. Edge still drowsy as he stomps at H. Edge tries to suplex H into the ring, but Cena pulls H off the apron, slamming H’s face on the mat and choking Edge on the ropes!
Cena goes up top and hits a diving body splash for a near fall! He tries for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Lita pulls the ropes down and Cena falls hard to the floor. H rams Cena into the steps and gets back in the ring giving Edge a facebuster. H runs into a boot from Edge, but Edge runs into a spinebuster for a near fall! Edge flips over a suplex and hits the Edge-ucator for a near fall. H catches Edge in a sleeper, but Edge reverses into one of his own.
Cena enters the ring and picks them both up for the FU! Edge slips off and gives Cena the spear as he was holding up H. Edge beats on H out of the ring, and Edge slingshots H into the corner post, busting him open. Edge sets up H on the Spanish announce table and gives him the Impaler DDT on the table, which doesn’t break!
Edge back in the ring with a missile dropkick on Cena for a near fall. Edge pounds Cena in the corner mercilessly. Edge drills Cena with a spear in the corner. Edge charges again, but Cena with a drop toe-hold, followed by the STFU! Edge makes his way to the ropes, but a bloody HHH stops Edge from reaching the ropes and smacks a microphone into the head of Cena!
Edge rolls out of the ring and tries to get to his feet, and H hits him with a hard chair shot sending him over the guardrail! H back into the ring, but he runs into a drop toe-hold and the STFU again! The referee checks the arm, but just gets 1 as H struggles and gets to the ropes to break the hold. Cena tries for the FU, but H slips over and tries for the Pedigree, but Cena rolls through and locks on the STFU!
Edge climbs up the top rope, but Cena sees him coming and goes after him. The referee gets bumped as Cena tries for an FU off the top, but H gets up and slams them both off the top! With the referee down, Lita tries to hit H with a chair, but gets caught with a spinebuster! H grabs the chair, but throws it down and goes out to grab his sledgehammer!
H gets in the ring but Edge catches him with a spear! Edge grabs the sledgehammer, but Cena catches him for the FU, but H catches Cena with a low blow, causing Cena to drop Edge out of the ring. H goes for the Pedigree, but Cena trips him up and flips him over for a jackknife pin and gets the 3-count to retain the title! Cena continues to defy the odds!
Triple H is irate and takes out everyone with the sledgehammer after the match. The bloodied Game walks up the isle and gives a DX crotch chop at the entrance way as the show closes with him taunting Edge & Cena laying in the ring.
Match Rating: ****

Overall: 2 Good matches a PPV does not make, and this could stand as a contender for worst overall PPV of the year.